Remy’s Four Stages of Floor Cleaning:
- Human Lint Roller – Involved rolling around the floors in wool and fleece outfits, gathering every piece of dog hair and particle of dust in his way. Not overly efficient and resulted in an increase in laundry, but effective none the less.
- e-cloth Mop Understudy – Involved bum-scooting across the floor with the e-cloth mop. Doubly effective if fleece or wool pants were worn.
- Vacuum Apprentice – Often involved riding the the vacuum. May or may not have required assistance from “Huggy-bankie” and/or construction equipment. Most definitely required repeated testing of the power button. On-off-on-off-on-off. Vacuum Apprentice Remy was best left on his own as he resisted – whole-heartedly – assistance from others and was a major test of mom’s patience.
- Junior e-cloth Mop Operator – Will only work if Michael Jacson’s “Bad” is playing and frequent breaks must be taken to watch the video and hit “replay”. Involves short spurts of maniacal and erratic sweeping of the floor in a pattern only a bat trapped in a house would appreciate. Very effective at cleaning small areas and thankfully the dust stays attached to the mop pad when he starts to play the mop like a guitar.