Apologies from the Chef: Do You Mind Your Cookies Crunchy?

I’m a reckless baker at the best of times – not measuring properly, never sifting, substituting non-substitutable ingredients.

But gosh darn it, I do love me a good cookie.

And (my grammar teachers are rolling their eyes here – starting sentences/paragraphs with “but” and “and”, but it’s necessary!) my poor Mr. Man has been working sooo much lately that I thought I’d surprise him with some home-baked cookies when he gets home late tonight.

Stupid, stupid, me. In hindsight, I’m sighing and shaking my head and saying “oh Kate, you poor, silly, girl“.

Long day alone with the kids = tired, unthinking mama.

Haphazardly throwing ingredients into the mixer. Butter, sugars, eggs… EGGS!

I don’t know what the heck I was thinking but I broke the first egg and started to dump it into the mixer bowl while the mixer was going. Not a problem until I decided the mixer was going too fast. As I reached over to turn it down…

  1. I dropped the whole freakin’ shell into the bowl.
  2. In an idiotic frenzy, I turned the mixer off. But wait, that’s not the “off” lever, that’s the “lift” lock (the lever on the OTHER side that allows you to lift the top of the mixer out of the bowl)
  3. Mixer continues mixing and I hear shell cracking but I manage to get my hand on the power lever
  4. Like a completely brainless fool, I turn the mixer speed UP.  And it’s all over. Shell obliterated!
  5. I spend 20 minutes squeezing eggy-sugary-buttery goop through my fingers (yes, my hands were clean) searching for shell and come up short, with only 4 or 5 pieces the size of my pinky fingernail.
  6. With nothing to lose, I turned the mixer back on HIGH and beat the crap out of that stuff.
  7. Put on my “reckless baker” hat and added extra oats and flour to the dough to compensate for the over-mixed egg/sugar/butter goop.

homemade cookies with added eggshellAnd here I sit. Typing and eating perfectly delicious homemade cookies with a HUGE glass of milk to wash down anything crunchy that should come my way. And gee whiz, they look good, don’t they?

 

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