7 Days of Poop – Day 4: Oral Hygiene

Just when I thought I wouldn’t have a good poop story to share today, the boys came through for me once again.

Zander didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning: he woke up on the “I’m going to make your morning miserable” side. Grumpy, challenging me at every turn and insisting that he ABSOLUTELY IS NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY!

This is the type of morning that I wish Dad would just stay home for an extra hour. Because this is the type of morning that requires 2 adults. Because this is the type of morning that if you focus on one child, the other one is going to do something you’ll regret.

Generally Zander is great at getting ready for school – picks his cloths, dresses himself, gets everything to his bag. He just needs help with tooth brushing and face washing.

Generally.

But not on a morning like today. Nope. On a morning like today, everything is a fight. I have to pick the clothes (there is no sense in even offering a choice today because everything will be wrong), I have to tear his pj’s off. I have to dress him. I have to PIN HIM DOWN as I dress him otherwise he wiggles out of his pants as I put his shirt on and vise versa.

You get the picture.

And on mornings like this, I do all the “Zander” stuff FAST because if I linger, Remy gets himself into trouble.

So here’s what happened this morning:

  1. Zander poops – and as an avid reader of my blog (hint! hint!) you’ve already guessed that he didn’t flush the toilet and that I had to wipe his butt
  2. Zander flies off the toilet after the ritual wiping and starts going downstairs
  3. I leave the poop in the toilet for the moment because I don’t have time to chase him all the way down stairs and bring him back
  4. We wrestle as I get him dressed – all the while I’m telling him about all the great things that are going to happen at school today
  5. I realize that I’ve forgotten to get out fresh underwear so I turn to get some and he bolts down stairs
  6. I check on Remy – he’s playing with his “buttons” (the calculator he’s been carrying around with him for the past 4 days – look at him, isn’t he cute?!)how to clean a calculator with e-cloth
  7. I chase Zander down and find that he’s already got his shirt off.
  8. I swear to myself, look at the clock, scoop him up and head back upstairs.
  9. That’s when I hear it. My electric toothbrush. And water splashing. And Remy saying his two favourite words (although they’re not often said together) “hello poop!”
  10. Oh $@#% !!!! (this was said out loud, NOT to myself)

TIP: If one of your kids is having a rough morning and simply doesn’t want to go to school, let them watch a sibling play in the toilet with your electric toothbrush and an un-flushed poop. Instant mood-swing!

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4 Responses to 7 Days of Poop – Day 4: Oral Hygiene

  1. Daddy Bummy Wiper says:

    Oh God. I hope it was really YOUR toothbrush and not MINE.

    Like

  2. stelbo says:

    That would send to to the dark side if that ever happened around here!!!!

    Like

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